MSU First Round

The #2 Spartans take on the #15 Robert Zach Philip Morris the Cat [insert mascot name] tonight.  It should be din-din for the Spartans.  Should be.

We will break these down one by one.

Zach Morris: the [giant] cell phone toting, big hair wearing, Bayside Tiger repping preppy would make a great promotional player.  Unfortunately A.C. Slater had all the physical talent.  No word on whether the [fill in RM mascot here] have an A.C. Slater or two up their collective sleeve.

Philip Morris: A power house U.S. Corporation that has used smoke and mirrors to control the competition.  Posted up the Surgeon General successfully for decades.  Know to leave the opposition winded.  A tale of two games; sometimes filtered sometimes unfiltered.  All players mysteriously under the sign of Cancer.  There is DEFINITELY word on RM having cigs up their properly rolled t-shirt sleeve.  Perhaps best known for their motivational posters...

Morris the Cat: well, not much to say here.  I don't know that a tabby cat can really be a game changer.  I do know that Morris is good at responding to bells, so halftime and buzzer beaters should be his forte.  Also known to be quite finicky in terms of shot selection, the [insert mascot name] are loathe to take a poor shot.  Over-exertion requires a nap or two.  Although strong in the [scratching] post, Morris is susceptible to laser pointers and catnip.  Morris is also dangerous on defense, having 9 fouls to work with rather than the standard 5.

Robert Morris: The [still can't find mascot name] play in the NEC -- an acronym that doesn't have an athletic related search result on googles first page (19th result, page 2).  Obviously a powerhouse, the Colonials (not the architectural style) won their conference tournament for the automatic NCAA Tournament berth.  The NEC website notes that "[t]he postseason will begin for Robert Morris on Friday when the #15 seeded Colonials (not the house) travel to Minneapolis to face second-seeded Michigan State."  Sadly, and surprisingly the article fails to mention this, the postseason will also end during this game.  A colonial representative was not available for comment, mostly because the Internet is not accessible nor powered by candles or whale oil.

Above: the 2007 Colonials starting lineup (sans camera man/point guard Constantine Hampton III).  The Colonials no longer play coed, beginning with the 2009 season.

Above: This colonial home took Robert Morris to the brink last season in the All Colonial Classic.   Robert Morris prevailed in the semi-final, losing to eventual champion Colonial Penn (starring Wilford Brimley and Ed McMahon) in the championship game.  In a show of sportsmanship the rivals shared a Guinness Record setting bowl of oatmeal in the locker room.

MSU - 77

RMU - 60